You'll just feel a small sharp scratch...

AHH YOU BITCH THAT WAS MORE THAN A FRICKING SCRATCH, AND NOW I'M BLEEDING UNCONTROLLABLY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS HEY?!
Not an over-reaction at all, I just hate needles. I had to go into hospital because I decided to go sleepy sleepy snoozy snoozy on the bathroom floor to awake half an hour later covered in noseblood, I thought it'd be best to go to hospital. Only got out an hour ago, they said I passed out due to "stupidly high blood pressure", which I don't quite understand, but might explain why I get nosebleeds every few days or so. The night, (or nights, I got there at 4 in the morning) was dominated by the arrival of one George Somebody, who was a 97/98 year old man with dementia and a broken arm, who was utterly hilarious and kept me entertained all night, regaling me with stories about his wife who passed away and life in the 60s smoking silly things and having a funky time even though he was off the generation who were known to have 'not liked this swinging sort of music and life'. I do hope he's OK, he seems it, he seems like he's followed Dylan Moran's way of living, as in "do whatever the hell you want, drink what you want, smoke what you want, live how you want, as when you're older you can get other people to clean up after you. "Nurse! I've shat myself again, clean it up now!""
I was followed by a pigeon on the way to the hospital shop for about 2 minutes, it was a small pigeon I think it must have thought I was his Mum for some strange reason, maybe because I've got pigeon breasts, I don't know. But he followed behind me (and I mean right behind me for like 3 minutes or so, crossing the road when I did and whatnot) but stopped when I got to the doors to go inside. I picked up my newspapers, peanut M&Ms (nom) and apple Tizer (nom Nom) and left the shop, coming out the door, to see the pigeon waiting for me, I knew it was the same pigeon as we had built up a rapport. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the pigeon kept to its clingy personality and kept on following me. We crossed the road at the zebra crossing, but my pigeon friend spotted a tasty food morsel and stopped on the zebra crossing, which prompted him/her to be ran over by the oncoming car. I have to say I felt sad. Extremely sad. Rather him/her than me though.
RIP Clingy the Pigeon.

Love and Planet Corduroy

Jc