Trials and Tribulations

Ran out of toilet paper today, had to use the Daily Mail for its true purpose. If only Quentin Letts knew what I've just used his face for. Sorry to get off to such a vulgar start, then again I'd hope the majority of the people who do regularly read this (and I know there are a few sick people out there who've shown yourself to me) are used to the low brow humour. I wouldn't say this blog is low-brow actually, I'd just say it was actually honest and about what I want to say. I want to say sweet F.A. about the election unlike everybody else. It can be summed up by this quote from EVERYBODYS FUCKING FAVOURITE BANDWAGON UNDERDOG Nick Clegg.

"The other two (party leaders) shouldn't get involved in such cheap political point scoring".

A cheap political point well made Nick. That's all it is, its equivalent to the parties playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, with all them blabbering and garbling trying to get as many votes in their mouth without any real thought about what all these promises will mean a few months/years down the line (I've just found out I've won the worst metaphor award from George W. Bush). I did think about voting for Nick Clegg at one time, just because he seems to be the only leader who can look after their kid without it dying. I may have gone too far, I've just spent about a minute now thinking whether I should go back and delete that but I don't think I will. Can anybody else not help but sing out 'Texture like Sun' every time someone mentions Gordon Brown? Enough about those guys anyway, in the end I'd rather have Nick Knowles leader than Nick Clegg.

I've got an appallingly bad throat and nose that's leaking like a mo-fo, which means I'm spending the next few days in bed until it passes, which shouldn't be too hard going. This is only because spending all day in bed watching Diagnosis Murder is beneficial to my health. The soothing tones of Dick Van Dykes voice has remarkable healing powers on the upper respiratory system, whilst the Loose Women harlots, although totally repulsive 99% of the time, clenches all passageways on sight, making leaky noses nigh-on impossible.
I'm open to people wanting me to answer whatever questions again, it was quite fun last time so just post them here or on my Facebook and I'll answer all, if none come in then you're just all bastards.

So Orbit have brought out a Pina Colada flavour chewing gum. Great, so now when I come back home and my Mum sees me stagger in, not only does she think I've been drinking, she also thinks I'm gay.


Love and 1,2,3,4 ALPHABET!

Jc