What has 2 legs in the morning, 24 legs in the afternoon and 57 legs at night?

A man who has decided to collect legs.

Moneys a bitch isn't it. From the couple of quid in your pocket to the £10 you find on the floor to the odd pony in your bank account to the hundreds you stole from that hooker. I hate it. I don't get how people can budget. If theres 2 things I'm not good at, its remembering things, and budgeting my money. My Mum worked in a bank for nearly half her life and yet shes as crap at it as I am. God knows what I'm going to do when I'm out of University with a full time job and a mortgage. I hope I'm one of the lucky few where a major event in there life means they come out debt free straight away, with no need for a credit card or checks to see if you have any CCJs. I met get extremely lucky and actually find a partner, I'll let her control all that stuff, she can just give me an allowance like a kid. "There you go Josh, here's your money for the week, don't spend it all at once and don't spend it all on crap", that's what it would be like, its what my Mum used to say to me. Jesus I'm not saying I want my next partner to be like my Mum, that's a Freudian slip if ever I saw one.
I wish I was slightly slimmer. Not totally slim, I'd hate that, I wouldn't want to be all tall and slim, I'd just like to muscle up my stomach and eat a little Ben and Jerrys Phish Food so its a bit of in between, I'm not the kind of man who could go into the gym for hours on end every day, I mean I could go in there a few times a week for an hour or so, but I know I'd get bored and hop into the McDonalds next door. What is it with that? every time I see a branch of Fitness First or Bannatynes Health Club theres a fricking Maccys or KFC next to it! I'm sure they're business partners.
Does obesity run in Liverpudlian families? No it fucking waddles. I'm sorry, I love the place, and I hope to have many more years in the Merseyside (probably in the Mersey if I keep on offending the area), but Ormskirk has some tubby kids about. Its a pot calling a kettle black I know as I'm not a beanpole myself, but seriously theres a few kids in this town of which size, 10 years ago, we just wouldn't have seen. Is it due to Captain Birds Eye? McDonalds? Or just pikey Mums?
This blog post really has turned into one of those entry's where I really have nothing to talk about. I feel like a long distance taxi driver talking to a deaf passenger. Except I'm not racist. I have plenty of...oh.

Joke.
My mum said to me the other day "You treat this house like a hotel". Telling her I have never paid for porn on the television may have not been the best answer.

Ps.
I've recently found out that my Mum reads this. Hello Mum! Love you!

Love and downing bottles of Calpol.

Jc