Readers Questions Number 1

I sent out a message on Facebook asking for questions or topics to talk about as 14 posts in, I needed something a little out of the ordinary. So I present to you, Readers Questions Number 1.

Danny Williams
"that bit between your ball sack and bumhole."

Jesus Christ. Don't wikipedia Perineum unless you like life size (well, it was life size on my big-ass TV-computer combo) goochs on your flatscreen. Apparantly its one of the 6 erogeneous zones on a mans anatomy, which means its very sensitive (or highly ticklish, probably not wise to tickle their if you're having a tickling fight or you might get slapped with some sort of court order).
The wikipedia article also states that 'in popular culture, its often called the "taint", "grundle", "chode", "banus", "gooch" or "shwaf". So now you know. I prefer Phill Jupitus' and Phil Wilding's colloquilism "Biffins Bridge".
Im going to stop now as I can feel my testorone dripping away from me looking at the wikipedia "shwafs".

Emma Louise Stewart
"write about Men and your feet!"

Right. Men have one problem, and one problem only. Men are proud animals, if our pride comes into question we lose any sense of whats right and whats not and we'd do anything to gain it back again. I've lost my pride a few times and its not a nice thing. The main thing men lose pride over is F*CKING WOMEN. Everytime I see a mate being pussy-whipped I shed a tear. And every time I shed a tear "an ox dies just by looking at my sad face". Not my words, the words of Pippa KCP Georgeson.
My feet are size 11 but have the ability to fit into size 9's.

Jordan Whittaker
"how you would fortify your house if the zombie apocalypse occurred?"

My bedroom back in Fleetwood was awesome, it was on the top floor and was the only room up there. Being the insomniac type, I'd spend many a night wondering what I'd do if the z-words attacked. I actually measured the length of my kingsize bed and compared it with the width of the doorway, and saw that the bed conveniently squished inbetween, making the door unopenable to the oncoming zombie hordes. Of course food would be a problem, but solved thanks to the velux window in my bedroom, from which you could slide down onto the roof, onto the kitchen extension below, therefore gaining access to a relatively large amount of food and water.
If all else fails I wouldn't think twice about eating my delicious dog Lola. for my Mum I'd probably think four times, but eat her anyway. Its what she would want.

Love and braaaaaaaaaaaains

Jc