Mmmmmmm Danone

When my grandad first arrived back in this country after the war, all he had with him was what was on his back. A rucksack full of Jew gold.

A few questions have been raised recently, where I've had to genuinely think about my line of work in the future. I just cannot see myself with a 9 to 5 job, I couldn't do it, I'd need something different, yes, I am one of those guys who have to go against the grain and against the norm.
Yes, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't wave but salutes.
The kind of guy who assigns himself his own nickname.
The kind of guy who thinks he is funny and writes a blog about how funny he is...

Oh.

Well anyway, I don't care, at least I'm honest about what I am, and I haven't had that many enemies due to it, so I musn't be that bad. I just could not see myself in an office, and I know soon, I may have to end up working in an office type enviroment, with a watercooler, and a storage cupboard which houses ringbind folders and a few crusty semen stains on the floor. I just hope they'll be a 20-odd-year-old-7/10-on-the-attractiveness-scale woman there for me to talk to and try to chat up but fail miserably as fricking always. The prospect of me earning anything over £12,000 a year though is fantastic, that'll be a grand a month, take off rent and food and thats £400 a month on whatever I'd like. Jesus Christ. Ladbrokes, Bargain Booze and Redtube Premium won't know whats hit them! I'd send a little home for my Mum as well, I'm nice like that, she's spent a hell of a lot of money on me the last year or so, just so I can come to Uni, so it'd be nice to give some back to her for a little treat each month. I'm single ladies...

When it gets to that time of the month, (my man-period) and I become bitten by the bad bipolar bear and get all depressed like, I'm a very paranoid person, my own solace is food and humour. And its leaning a little too much towards the food side methinks, I've been this weight for the last few years, I was a little tubbier I think in secondary school, but I've been a constant 16-17 stone, which is a ridiculous amount I feel when I hear other peoples weights. I'd like to get down to a constant 15 stone. Tubby, a little give, but if you pinch hard enough you can feel abs underneath. I hate running, but Im going to give this new class at University a go, they're doing a Boot Camp-esque training session every week, so hopefully this, along with some cycling (I dont own a bike) or gym every so often will cut me down. My dads rock hard, he's still muscly now, and slightly stronger than me at 46 (I think), I may have to ask him how he got from tubby bitch to a muscly bitch.

My girlfriend rang me and told me that she's got swelling on her face, arms, breasts and vagina. I told her thats too much inflammation.

Scientists have recently discovered that certain species of fish have paedophilic tendencies. Specifically, the ones that swim outside the school.

Love and Ken Dodds Dads Dogs Dead

Jc