Tumbleweed

Its 3am.
There's nothing on TV.
There's no-one online.
There's no new Redtube videos.
Its time for a blog.

Hello. I don't really go on Redtube can I just say say. Ahem. It's a shame not everyone is open about talking about things like that. I'm not just talking about your Internet history, but when conflicts and arguments occur. People tend to say that they "don't mind speaking out when someone says something wrong" or that they "aren't afraid at speaking above the crowd". Its got me in trouble a few times, and its left me in a few situations where comments are made by me, then instantly followed by a long period of awkward silence. I was the master at it at secondary school. I hated secondary school with an absolute passion. A good 80% of people in my year I could have easily hit over the head with a blunt object, the reason for this hatred is unknown, it might be that I was just taking out my frustrations on whatever was close by. I missed a good 50% of classes in Year 10 and an easy 80-90% of classes in Year 11 just down to my fear and paranoia working with other people, I just remember getting scared at people thinking they'd see me complete my rituals, and that they'd say something.
I remember really liking a girl in Year 8 and 9, we were getting along famously, I loved talking to her, and then for the first time, the OCD just flared up, I got these "what-ifs" in my head. "What if she finds out you have to count your steps everywhere you go", "What if she finds out that every time you touch something, you have to touch it in a set order". Long and short of it is that it just fizzled out due to my negatives thoughts in my mind. Its probably my greatest regret I have. Not just because I'd like to see if me and the girl would have got on, I mean, we were 14-15 at the time, hardly any relationship at that age can be taken too seriously, (even though I freaking would have loved to ha ha) but I just wonder if I'd fought back at the thoughts, maybe I could have saved myself a lot of hassle, and maybe I wouldn't want to hit 80% of my ex-classmates on the back of the head with a shovel.
People should be more open about their problems and grievances, for every horror story that someone has, someone will have a similar one ten times worse. I'd say that I'm very lucky to have what I have on such a minute scale, It could have driven me away from my Mum, my family. It could have meant I wouldn't have my friends. Or I wouldn't have made it to University and made friends with a hell of a lot of people who probably still can't deal with my open-ness (sic) and twattishness (sic) yet. They will with time. I hope.
I'm not too sure if I was raised to be this open about myself as I am, my Mum couldn't for the life of her stand up on stage, and the closest my dad gets to being open is the trash talk he spews out whilst playing me at pool (Him and I have always said that he's a shit Dad, but an awesome best friend, and love him loads), I think I got who I am today, from my Uncle Alex somehow, who my Mum has said, is basically me, but he's thinner (and more good looking, my Mum didn't say that part, but I concede that to him). I'm afraid of opening one of these Formspring accounts because I don't think people will expect the kind of answers I'd give, I guess I'd give it a shot soon and see what happens.
Apologies for the lack of funnies, will post another one about whatever in my mind at the time, or whatever people want me to talk about. I have to say as well, I only have 9 followers, and I post this up to Facebook whenever I write a new blog, but thank you for looking at my page 500 times. I have either a load of one time lookers, or 9 people of whose names I'll be handing into the police for excessive looking. I'm sure that's a charge. If not I'll just say you 9 people raped me.
See what I mean? Too far. I smell an awkward silence.

Love and Get Shorty 2: Get Shorter

Jc