Back to normality

Waddup Lemmings
Like a 1950s Italian-American husband inebriated on stout bitchslapping his under-the-thumb crying wife, Fleetwoods Mount hammer hits the bell to signal that its 7 o' clock. I'm glad to be back in Fleetwood, even if the first day is a sombre one. I am now single, which was a surprise to be, but after the debacle which was my first relationship, the second pales to comparison with the amount of sadness I feel. I'm upset, but not as upset as I thought I'd be, I feel more embarassment than anything else, as when you publically cry out that you're 'in a relationship' on Facebook and then several weeks later it now reads 'single', people wonder and people pity. I do hate pity.
Pity is a dish best served as a side-entree with revenge, not as a dollop on top of a plate of 'ruined relationship. I think I may have taken this metaphor as step too far, but, as people who read this know, I normally take things that step too far anyhow. You'll be happy to know that I'm not feeling all to happy about the whole situation and life in general, not happy as in, how I always was before the saga anyway, but its in this mood where I like to be.
Imagine finding a £50 note on the floor, but its got 'you are a wanker' on it and then loads of people you know surround you and laugh at you. You're happy and richer, but it leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Thats how I'm feeling.
I have a plan regarding University. I am to become a English teacher. Apparantly, they're crying out for them, so would be able to train to become one FULL TIME and still gain the knowledge I'd like to learn regarding English and Creative Writing and so forth. Whether this plan materialises is a totally different matter.

Me and my girlfriend are splitting up unless I pay for a boob job.
I'm skint, and anyway, I quite like my pointy breasts.

"You'll laugh, you'll cry.." You'll get diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

I've come to a realisation that apparantly peoples mental health really does affect a persons chance at getting accepted for a job, or at the very least an interview. I've been applying for jobs what with the whole, 'having no money to pay for rent/travel/food/freshers week/handwash/Razzle/Wham bars/Black Mint Airwaves situation' and filling out application forms always has a space that says;

"If you have any medical condition be it physical or mental that would affect your undertaking of this job, please make aware of it below and how it would affect"

Is one example of what is said on one of these application forms. Me, with my crazy HILARIOUS Obsessive Compulsive Ways, or OCW as we in the trade call it, seriously, I'm on a OCD chatroom and we have all seem to have a tendancy to abbreviate a lot of things, (LOLOer = Lights On Lights Off-er) I'm quite desparate for a job and so have resorted to cleaning. Now in this space in the form, I obviously put Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Now I have applied for 4 cleaning jobs and have so far received feedback/interviews for 3 of them (going for an interview for one of them, because its also a barman job, fuck the others, I ain't cleaning for no old women bitch). Now is that coincedence, luck, or is this a positive bias towards the TEEers? (Touch Everything Evenly/Exactly-ers)
I'll leave it to you to work out, or if you're a bit cash stricken yourself, to use to your EVIL FUCKING ADVANTAGE. But if I see you going for a job I'm going for and find out your lieing, I'll punch you in the face. In a specific order of left punch, right punch, right punch, left punch. Then wash my hands and turn around 5 times.

NO NEWS TODAY - I'M FEELING UN-NEWSWORTHY

Love and a sorry fucking state of affairs

Jc