Awards.

Set your vaginas on standby ladies, why? I have no idea.
What I do know is that I've recently come back from Leeds Festival, stinking, bruised and covered in a layer of sweat, pink wafers, and Los Dios red wine.
What better and more attention seeking way of saying how fucking awesome it was, than by giving out pretend awards for stupid reasons. NONE. That's what.

THE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-MUSICAL SOUND HEARD AT THE FESTIVAL
Greg Roscows magnificent throw of an empty Taurus cider can colliding with the petite head of a 17 year old girl. The 'clung' sound shall remain with me forever.

THE AWARD FOR THE BEST INSULT HEARD ALL WEEKEND
Cypress Hill's very own B-Real towards Sen-Dog, "Ladies, piss on his moustache and shit on his chest, its the dirtiest of all the dogs, its Sen-Dog!"

THE MOST HOMOEROTIC COUPLE
Tom Dingle and Luke Woods. 'Nuff said.

THE MAIN STAGE BEST PERFORMANCE
Weezer were absolutely fucking amazing, Rivers Cuomo putting on a fucking awesome lead man performance and interacting with the crowd like its the bands last gig. Unlike some other bands they really put some work into their set, doing covers of Wheatus, Lady Gaga and MGMT.

Honorable Mentions - Blink 182, Arcade Fire

THE NME STAGE BEST PERFORMANCE
Now this is made for LCD Soundsystem, the only band I really wanted to see at Leeds and they did not disappoint, playing the fan favourites, the songs we wanted to hear, however hard they'd be to recreate, it paid off with a fantastic performance of 'Daft Punk Is Playing At My House' and the crowd-destroying, barrier-breaking, amp-blowing version of 'Yeah (Crass Version)'

Honorable mentions - Crystal Castles, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

THE ALTERMATIVE STAGE BEST PERFORMANCE
Angelos Epithemiou, I'll never again see a grown man dance nearly naked to Mud's 'Tiger Feet'. And that, dear lemmings, is a fucking shame. Jaw-hurtingly funny.

Honorable mentions - Kevin Bridges


That'll do I think.
Will blog later if can be arsed, something worthwhile reading maybe, depends how I feel.

Love and £3.49 wine, bargain.

Jc