Gringo Bingo

Hello you sticky keys on the young teenage boys laptop that I call life.
Its chucking it down here, but I managed to get to the canteen just when they were labelling the sandwiches half price, so I took full advantage of this and bought six. Along with two caramel shortbreads and a White Chocolate Magnum, calorific isn't the word. Obesity is. I'm eating less here surprisingly though, even with a card with 500 pounds on to spend on food, the thought of canteen food puts me off eating a little, so all I'm buying is sandwiches and diet coke.
One thing I'm surprised about here is the lack of people offering me drugs. I mean we hardly ever got it at Ormskirk, but that was a quiet place, we did know someone who smoked a hilarious amount of weed at Edge Hill, he's a lovely guy and surprisingly clever for someone who smoked so much that Howard Marks would probably tell him to calm the hell down. I don't mind admitting on here, knowing that my family read this, that I have tried it, and it was quite fun I have to say, but just the thought of having to inhale it to get any effect just puts me off from ever trying it once more. I enjoy cigars every so often when I get the chance, just because I love the taste, you don't have to inhale, and if you stick your stomach out and push your chin against your neck and 'two-finger-swear' at someone I manage to look like a young Winston Churchill.

My blind girlfriend broke up with me today. She said she couldn't see us going anywhere.

I do believe everyone needs a vice though, I'd say my vice was outrageous amounts of masturbation. I jest of course...*nervously shifts*
Being serious I do think my vice is gambling, I'd bet on anything, anything except horses, because I'd only bet on things I can actually win on. So be it football, NHL or whether me or Josh Hughes can grow a beard for longer. Talking of that, I'll be starting No Shave November again, nationwide its called Movember, but I came up with it with no knowledge of this, just to celebrate my birthday with everyone sporting patchy facial hair, and therefore getting no poontang, just like me!

Whats hairy and blessed?
Brian

I'm off I got things to do like lie around and eat a Magnum and cry.

Love and celebrating your mother
Jc